Looking Back Into My Future

Today is my birthday and the first thought that crossed my mind was to give my Good Good Father my appreciation for the life He has given me.

Looking Back Into My Future

Good morning Father

This is the day that you have made

I will rejoice and be glad in it

This is the day July 19 you planned

For my entrance into the earth

At 2:18 am you hit the start button

For me to begin on the journey

Of my purpose and destiny

Sometimes it hasn’t been easy

But you’ve been here for me

To get me back to your path for me

You knew there would be stubborn times

That I would be disobedient

And do my own thing

You’d let me with a watchful eye

You were there to pick me up

Dust me off and love on me

When my stubborn actions

Got me in trouble

To let me know you’ve still got me covered

You’ve been and still are a Good, Good Father

You are true to your word

You never leave me nor forsake me

You take such good care of me

You said I am bound to be blessed

You heap blessings upon me daily

You shower me with gifts and surprises

That turns me into Daddy’s giggly, giddy little girl

I thank and praise you for letting me

End one year and start another with great

Expectations of what you want me to do for you

I do and always will love you

Need you and trust you with

Every beat of my heart

I honor and love you for being my Good Father

I Want To Be More Than Just Me

I Want To Be More Than Just Me

I want to be a writer. I believe I would be a good one. Distractions come my way.  Ideas that are deposited in me are snuffed out. My memory fails  so I don’t remember the snippets that would make for a great story. My recorder is forgotten and the creative flow is dammed up. No matter what tries to stop me I will put words on paper until I accomplish what I set out to do.

I want to be an artist. My paintings are beautiful. Many have said so. Full of color and life that draws you in to become a part of the community. Then appears an old nemesis fear slithering in with the same old plan to steal, kill and destroy. For some strange reason I succumb to those old outdated tricks. All my creativity comes to a halt. I’m shut down and can’t deliver. I’m telling that voice to shut up and I’m arming myself with my paint brush, paint and canvas and going to war.

I want to be a musician. Music was built in me before I was born. It’s always playing in my ear. Sometimes songs I’ve heard. Other times songs that are being birthed. There are also personal songs that are between me and my Lord. When music starts dancing fills in my feet. Melodies circle me. How do I capture them and express them? I lift my voice and sing. I’ll dance with the broom while sweeping my floors. I’ll be the best pianist that ever tickled the ivory keys.

My goal is to conquer the fleeting moments of creativity and let the masterpieces flow from my being. I will express the ideas that come forth from the Throne room at the time they are to be released. I believe I can and I will.

I want to be more than just me. This is me!

Is there anything that is preventing the creativity in you from coming forth?

Detached

There comes a time in our lives that we are tempted by something that can change our lives in a way we can never imagine. In some circumstances we can have what I’m going to call a flesh attack. In case you don’t know that is when your flesh demands satisfaction. In that state we forget about the consequences or we just don’t care. A free for all is not necessarily free at all. Someone is going to pay be it one or both involved.

Her future had taken a sudden turn

The flesh got in the way

Never again would she be

The carefree teen she was yesterday

A decision that never crossed her mind

Had been made for her

The secret fun she enjoyed

Had gone a bit too far

She wondered as tears

Streamed down her face

How could this happen to me

No more will life be carefree

When she shared the news with him

He turned and walked away

Hadn’t seen or heard from him

Since that dreaded day

The unexpected bundle of joy

Had made his way

The pain and push

Now complete

Is here to stay

Where is the joy that abounds

Blank face and stony heart

Cold eyes starring into space

No connection to be found

Detached from the start

Facing A Fear

This coming weekend I’m taking a CHL class. Before taking the class I needed to go to the range and practice the targets.

I should have completed the class a while ago but fear stood in the way because someone tried to take my life with the very thing I’m going to get a license for-a gun.

A friend was supposed to go with me to the range but for reasons unknown to me he didn’t show. After sitting in the parking lot for fifty-five minutes I had to leave for another appointment I couldn’t miss so I headed out.

Now comes the dilemma-when can I get back to the range to practice before the class this weekend. After my appointment was over I googled Eagles and found they were open until 9 pm. I prayed and enlisted God’s guidance and made my way back there again. I had been there before but never alone so I was nervous. I was met with friendly faces who were eager to help me get registered and a nice gentleman who attended to my needs on the inside.

The biggest thing that unnerved me was the sound of the guns firing. I’d jump every time I heard someone shoot but I stood against the fear I felt until it left. Every time I pulled the trigger I closed my eyes and I couldn’t tell if I hit the target or not. After becoming aware of what I was doing I had to make myself keep my eyes open. By that time I’d fired fifty rounds and it was time to go. While practicing I only jammed the gun twice. The nice man got me out of those jams.

All year things from my past have been popping up for me to deal with. So now was the time for my fear about my life almost being taken from me to be absolved. Today no more fear concerning that lives here. That journey was mine alone and no one else could help me.

I will attend the class, pass the test and get my license.

#atozchallenge -Peter’s Fight

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         Peter’s Fight

Unaware of the fight that was ahead Peter kept moving forward on

A course that could bring misery and dread.

Especially because he wasn’t prepared

He kept wandering here and there in great despair

Although pretending not to have a worry or care

Peter took a deep breath and slowly released

All the distraction around him that disturbed his peace

He stood still and waited till all was calm

Until he was sure which way to go

After all the confusion that turned him around

Peter got settled on firm ground

He opened his eyes and saw a new way

To win the fight that caused his delay#

atozchallenge – Indecisive

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If you’re indecisive, you have a hard time making decisions. When you finally do make a decision, you may not be confident about it, or you might change your mind.
Another definition for indecisive is not definitely settling something.

Being indecisive is a bad place to be. It is rooted in fear. Fear comes in all shapes, sizes and surprises.

I’ve been there more times than I care to count. One would think by now I’d know better. I seem to be caught by surprise every time. But something has to change.

The next time I have a decision to make I’m going to make it and not vacillate back and forth and worry about missing out on any thing.

My thought is if I make the right decision I won’t miss out on anything.

No more indecisive days, weeks, months and years for me.